Brother angry and unhappy with DE shaves! :(

This may not be so much of a "shaving" question as it is an advice question. I've been using a DE on my legs now for a while, and love it, no problems, no issues getting used to it etc. While I realize that shaving legs is different than shaving a face, I can't seem to understand the issues my brother is having. I gave him a Merkur DE (can't remember exactly which model off the top of my head) for christmas, and he was totally excited about it. I showed him how to lather, explained to him to use very little if no pressure at all, etc. After using it for about 6 months, he has decided that he is just totally fed up with a bloodied face as a result of his shaving, and I've suggested he visit you lovely people over here for advice, watch youtube videos, etc but I have no idea whether he has actually TRIED to get better at shaving or if he just expected to be good at it first thing.

Personally, I didn't think the learning curve was this steep. He is obviously doing something wrong, but since he is a volatile teenager, he doesn't take criticism well and expects to be good at something automatically. I want him to enjoy his shaves, and I think he wants to enjoy them too, but I have NO idea how to even make suggestions to him.

See if there is a member in your area that could help him out...no offense... I have an older sister and when I was a teen I would rather die than take her advice on anything. even if it was good advice

When it comes to wet shaving, even with a DE, having an expectation you will automatically and rapidly be a master at it is the perfect recipe for failure. Unless he changes that attitude maybe the modern systems are best for him.

Hello, Melissa. I must agree with my friend thebigspendur about your brother's attitude toward the double edge razor. From your description, your brother is used to instant gratification. That is incongruous with the world of wet shaving with the double edge razor. Like the straight razor shave, the double edge does present a learning curve. It also requires time spent on the art and the skill of proper shaving.

Were I faced with the same circumstance as you, I would drop the double edge idea and let him choose whatever means that fit his personality. Obviously he is not suited for this form of shaving — for now. He might be later. Let him, therefore, make his own discoveries. He might come around, and he might not. It should be his decision. Either way, until he changes his attitude toward time and effort that this form of shaving requires, he will continue to suffer the nicks and the rashes — and complain. Stay well.

First off he's a lucky kid to have a big sister that not only wants him to get an excellent shave but also is willing to go to all this trouble to ensure that he gets that shave, way to go. As far as advice it would be best if he could demonstrate to you how he shaves, maybe you'll be able to notice something and help him out. If he's unwilling to do that hopefully he will poke around here and pick some tips up. As far as expecting to be great at something that is not a trait limited to teenagers. Wet shaving is an excellent teacher as you get instant feedback (ouch won't do that again) you only need to be willing to learn, too many people aren't which is why we have a plethora of multi blade disposables and electrics. Best of luck to you and your brother!

Not to be rude, but you described him as a 'volatile teenager", I think this explains it all. When he is mature enough to learn to shave correctly he will enjoy the shave. Having been one of these "teenagers" in the distant past I know it wont do you any good to push it.

I am probably one of the few here that took to the straight edge like a duck to water and absolutely could not get a good shave from a DE. I struggled with bloody shave after bloody shave. In the end I was able to get shave's with out the blood, but they just didnt compare to what I could get from my straights (mostly i would have to shave 2x a day if i wanted to stay bbs) so I gifted my DE to my best friend who fell in love with it. Some people Can use them, some people can use them and dont like them. Either way it does take alot of practice to find out.

hope he sticks it out.

I have been straight shaving for almost a year now and can't stand shaving with a DE, I would rather shave with my old Fusion instead of using my DE. The shaves are way less comfortable then both straights and Fusions in my experiences. I hope he can find a form of wet shaving that works for him, it is much better on the skin than cartridge razors.

On the subject of volatile teenagers. The alternative is to wind him up and sit back and watch the fireworks? May be entertaining at least?

From his point of view his big sister shouldn't be better at shaving than he is. This has tons of milage in it for giving you something to do when you're bored.

Get him an old Gem or an Injector or maybe take him to an antique store and let him pick out his own. At that age coolness is everything.
Not everyone takes to this either, keep that in mind.

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Originally Posted by tekbow

On the subject of volatile teenagers. The alternative is to wind him up and sit back and watch the fireworks? May be entertaining at least?

From his point of view his big sister shouldn't be better at shaving than he is. This has tons of milage in it for giving you something to do when you're bored.

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:HJ

tekbow, are you certain you're not my older brother?:)

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Originally Posted by LinacMan

:HJ

tekbow, are you certain you're not my older brother?:)

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Don't think so... But lets face it, everyone older than a teenager knows how to set that fuse and step back ;)

I can't wait to have kids, I'm never going to be bored. Uni is more or less free in the UK so i'm putting money away for a therapist for them

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Originally Posted by tekbow

i'm putting money away for a therapist for them

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By the time you put in 20 -30 yrs in raising kids it wont be them needing the therapist.

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Originally Posted by nun2sharp

By the time you put in 20 -30 yrs in raising kids it wont be them needing the therapist.

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I have four. The eldest one was near the death of me, but then he consciously chose to behave like that (and his "friends" egged him on).

For the original poster: like it's been said, there is considerable mileage there for you to play with if you choose, but if he's a full blown "entitled" instant gratification type then don't hold your breath over him learning anything that takes more than five minutes. Kids that age, and boys in particular, don't generally have fully functional brains. My psychologist friend tells me that they lose the ability for consequential thinking and patience around 12 and get it back aroiund 25. In between you can expect to see some absolutly mind bending and frustrating things. Not every kid is the same and some don't go through it at all, but most do.

Sit him down in a chair, and have one of your good looking mates sit on his lap and show him how to shave his face properly by doing it for him. You can chaperone the event by standing there with the skuttle and brush. I know I would never have argued the matter with a few of my sisters mates that's for sure. :)


Mick

Both DE and straight razor shaving take work. Those that put in the work make it. Those who don't, well, don't.

Give him a Mach 3 for a couple years, and eventually he'll beg your forgiveness......

Could always just hand him a cup of cement and tell him to ... I'll leave the rest of the phase for you to work out on your own. ;)

(I mean this in all humour, btw. Shaving without training wheels isn't for everybody.)

How does he keep cutting himself? Is he using his DE like a lot of people use a cartridge razor? In movies, etc I see people hacking away at their face like a bad amateur cook trying to cut up carrots: repeatedly taking the blade away from the face, carelessly slapping it back on, pull it down the face, pull away, then slap it on again. Sloppy and rushed. You can sometimes get away with that when you use a cartridge razor but not with a DE. Especially if you don't stretch the skin flat, or let the corners dig in, or use a decent cream with sufficient wetness. Is he using a DE that leaves corners of the blade exposed past the side of the razor head?
I have a Merkur model thirty something and it has never cut or even scratched me, no matter what brand of blade I use, and I have a tough beard.
He really should watch some youtube videos about DE's.

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Originally Posted by Obie

Hello, Melissa. I must agree with my friend thebigspendur about your brother's attitude toward the double edge razor. From your description, your brother is used to instant gratification. That is incongruous with the world of wet shaving with the double edge razor. Like the straight razor shave, the double edge does present a learning curve. It also requires time spent on the art and the skill of proper shaving.

Were I faced with the same circumstance as you, I would drop the double edge idea and let him choose whatever means that fit his personality. Obviously he is not suited for this form of shaving — for now. He might be later. Let him, therefore, make his own discoveries. He might come around, and he might not. It should be his decision. Either way, until he changes his attitude toward time and effort that this form of shaving requires, he will continue to suffer the nicks and the rashes — and complain. Stay well.

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Melissa,

I agree totally with my good friend Obie. Your brother may not be in the frame of mind to go the wet shaving route with a de just yet. My son, who is a lot older than your brother was the same way. He resisted for quite awhile before making the decision that wet shaving with a de razor was for him. Now he loves it.

Let your brother take his own path. One day he will take that lovely Merkur out of the drawer and fall in love with it and the ritual of traditional wet shaving. Who knows? Perhaps one day he will surprise you by showing you his straight razor that he decided to begin using.

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Originally Posted by bondpunk

See if there is a member in your area that could help him out...no offense... I have an older sister and when I was a teen I would rather die than take her advice on anything. even if it was good advice

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One of the things experienced canoeing teachers do, is to break up "couples" into separate boats. It saves a lot of grief.

Nobody _has to_ enjoy DE shaving, or get good at it. If the man (kid?) wants to use a cartridge razor, or an electric razor, let him. The more investment you have in his success, the harder it's going to be for him to succeed -- or to enjoy succeeding.

Charles

PS -- this advice is worth what you paid for it.

Additionally, and this is important to understand: facial hair can be much, much harder than leg hairs.
I don't know if this is true for your brother (for men this gets worse with age) but the way you shave your leg may not necessarily translate well to shaving facial hair.

And indeed, at that age, he may not be prepared to take advice from his sister. It's a man thing. :)
It would be much better for an actual male shaver to give him advice.

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Originally Posted by Bruno

(for men this gets worse with age) but the way you shave your leg may not necessarily translate well to shaving facial hair.

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Anything you want to tell us, Bruno? :w

I use a straight now, but often rotate in a DE and my dad's old Schick injector. While I tend to get a few more nicks with both of those, I do enjoy them after I took the time to remember watching my dad use the injector and my papaw use a DE. Picturing their movements and methods in my mind has helped tremendously and also brings back very fond memories for me. Being more than half my life removed from my teen years now, I sometimes forget how much the "cool" factor plays into everyday life. The suggest to find a member close by that could help is a good one, as is your recommendation of videos. There's a guy on the 'Tube that is a straight shaver that looks to be early 20s at most. He's long-haired and inked so he's definitely not the Ward Cleaver Teaches Shaving type. His videos are pretty good and your brother might relate a little better to those. I have to wonder if he'd be a little more into it if you could find something like a steampunk style DE much as the steampunk straights I've been seeing over in the Customs and Restorations forum lately.

Either way, though, as a dad of three and a little brother who lost his big brother way too soon, let me say THANK YOU for being so supportive and encouraging for your brother. Though he may not listen now, in a few years he'll look back on it with a big grin and warm heart to see yet another example of how much his big sister loves him.

Bubba

1. If he's been trying for a while, has he been using the same blade for a long time? If so, it might be dull, and that might cause some problems.

2. Tell him to remember to set the angle of the razor in relationship with the skin, and THEN begin a stroke with the arm (being sure to maintain that angle.) There is a tendency to use some wrist to sort of "wipe," and this has always caused me problems.

3. Maybe his hair grows strangely? I have a sensitive spot where hair grows in all different directions, and I get maybe 2/5 shaves without raising blood there.

4. Go slowly but surely. There's no need to make passes too quickly nor too slowly (I actually find that it's less effective to be too slow.)

Good luck.

okay, i actually posted a mini-cover letter slash mission rant, and it disappeared. No sweat, "brevity is the seat of wisdom":
1. 18 months DE shaving.
2. 2 razors: '57 fatboy(sorry to gush, but this razor has 2gthf 0 yrs on me) and most recent (2010)short handle HD from Merkur (my first DE, don't wanna get 2 to dark, just know that this razor knows me and saved me. I'm happy to hear anyone's explanation -short or brief - why a guy who avoided shaving, can pick up a DE razor instead of a -------- fill in the blank and not just be going through the motions.

somehow this post got way to heavy and gloomy, maybe its the hurricane 'er sompin. The take away of my post soon to be forgotten, was that a man who knows what a baby-butt-smooth shave is, and has that barbershops smell that we (i) can faintly remember. That meant it was July 4th, or memorial day, or labor day, ad infinitum - now i look back on my dads and his dads generation, and I'm tellin you- some of the shaving soaps, aftershaves, etc. are a potent thing - a lot of things (savory and otherwise) took place in the barber shop. If you don't think wasington DC doesn't have it's version of the town barbershop - where secrets are better put in the vault, lest collaterall comes a knockin,

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Originally Posted by fatboy57

okay, i actually posted a mini-cover letter slash mission rant, and it disappeared. No sweat, "brevity is the seat of wisdom":
1. 18 months DE shaving.
2. 2 razors: '57 fatboy(sorry to gush, but this razor has 2gthf 0 yrs on me) and most recent (2010)short handle HD from Merkur (my first DE, don't wanna get 2 to dark, just know that this razor knows me and saved me. I'm happy to hear anyone's explanation -short or brief - why a guy who avoided shaving, can pick up a DE razor instead of a -------- fill in the blank and not just be going through the motions.

somehow this post got way to heavy and gloomy, maybe its the hurricane 'er sompin. The take away of my post soon to be forgotten, was that a man who knows what a baby-butt-smooth shave is, and has that barbershops smell that we (i) can faintly remember. That meant it was July 4th, or memorial day, or labor day, ad infinitum - now i look back on my dads and his dads generation, and I'm tellin you- some of the shaving soaps, aftershaves, etc. are a potent thing - a lot of things (savory and otherwise) took place in the barber shop. If you don't think wasington DC doesn't have it's version of the town barbershop - where secrets are better put in the vault, lest collaterall comes a knockin,

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I'm not quite sure what you're getting at, here...

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Originally Posted by fatboy57

okay, i actually posted a mini-cover letter slash mission rant, and it disappeared. No sweat, "brevity is the seat of wisdom":
1. 18 months DE shaving.
2. 2 razors: '57 fatboy(sorry to gush, but this razor has 2gthf 0 yrs on me) and most recent (2010)short handle HD from Merkur (my first DE, don't wanna get 2 to dark, just know that this razor knows me and saved me. I'm happy to hear anyone's explanation -short or brief - why a guy who avoided shaving, can pick up a DE razor instead of a -------- fill in the blank and not just be going through the motions.

somehow this post got way to heavy and gloomy, maybe its the hurricane 'er sompin. The take away of my post soon to be forgotten, was that a man who knows what a baby-butt-smooth shave is, and has that barbershops smell that we (i) can faintly remember. That meant it was July 4th, or memorial day, or labor day, ad infinitum - now i look back on my dads and his dads generation, and I'm tellin you- some of the shaving soaps, aftershaves, etc. are a potent thing - a lot of things (savory and otherwise) took place in the barber shop. If you don't think wasington DC doesn't have it's version of the town barbershop - where secrets are better put in the vault, lest collaterall comes a knockin,

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Uhhhh.............what?

Perhaps the pipe had something other than tobacco in the bowl... :)


Mick

Glad I'm not the only one who missed that boat.

Um ok yeah

I could be wrong, but I bet there would have been a link to a pharma site in his sig if he had one.

Just back away slowly and think happy thoughts. any sudden movements might scare him....

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Originally Posted by MickRussell

I could be wrong, but I bet there would have been a link to a pharma site in his sig if he had one.

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I'm also willing to bet he has one of those locking DEs for "hospitalized" people.